This Woman's Work
by Ohtar Vicky
Summary: Katara has died and left Zuko alone. WARNING: Contains Zutara. Please read and comment!


_**Title: **__This Woman's Work_

_**Summary:**__ Katara has died and left Zuko alone_

_**Rating:**__ K+ For character death and to be safe!_

_**Note from the Author:**__ For those who don't already know I have a DeviantART account. This can be found on that website as well but it is mine! Please review and comment! The parts in italics are the lyrics to a song called __**'This Woman's Work'**__ by __**Kate Bush**__ and I thought it was a gorgeous piece so I decided to do something to it. _

_**Disclaimer:**__ Not mine!_

_**WARNING:**__ Zutara content!_

'_Pray God you can cope…'_

'She was a brave, compassionate and beautiful girl,"

The words were the truth but Zuko felt no relief from them. Standing with the others gazing at the sparkling, flowing, rush of water in front of him. He heard her father's words but to him they were meaningless. He looked down once again at his speech in his hands, re reading it again. It just didn't seem right…

He approached her. Resting silently on the stone slab bended just for her. It's resident had no more power to bend. No more water to heal him though she must have known he would have needed it. But it was not to be her final resting place. The water would receive it's bender but he knew the water did not deserve such a beauty. It in itself, was scenic beyond imagination, why should it receive a beauty it did not need. Why should it receive his beauty?

The others had brought flowers. Sweet, beautiful, flowers of all colours. He had brought nothing but a single Bluebell.

"For eternal love" he whispered looking only at the flower until Aang left him with her patting him on the shoulder as he left but Zuko didn't feel it.

He looked up and snapped his eyes shut. He didn't want to see her, so helpless, so fragile, so lifeless and pale. He didn't want to accept what he knew. Didn't want to believe. It just wasn't right. It was his fault.

She had passed only days ago but he couldn't bear another sight of the shell of her. She had fought, but it just hadn't been enough.

"It's never enough" He muttered.

'_Ooh it's hard on the man … now his part is over…'_

He slowly opened his eyes. There she was. But it wasn't her. So quiet and still, her face expressionless. Hands lying neatly by her sides. Eyes, closed. He remembered those eyes. Big, blue ones that shone and glittered with hope and love like the very water she bended. The hope has vanished, the love gone.

He clasped her hand, cold as ice, the one that had once come to heal the single thing that he had thought could never be healed, now it only caused him more pain. He reached over and tenderly traced her features. Lips that used to be an exuberant pink were now dulled to a near grey lilac, Tracing all the laughter lines from her face, all the scars and hurts she had gained through years of hard work and fighting. He held back a harsh sob. 'My fault' he thought.

'_I know you have a little life left, I know you have a lot of strength left…'_

He turned away and only then did he see the unlit candles around her. He smiled slightly, remembering Jin. 'Close your eyes' he thought to himself, the smile disappearing. The candles lit, Zuko returned to her side. He placed his hand on her head, fingering the soft, flowing brown hair.

"Oh Katara" He breathed.

He leaned over and softly kissed her. Where was the warmth? Where was his Katara?

"Always remember," He whispered "I won't forget." He placed her hands on her chest, his Bluebell between them. He took a last look and left her before his wails broke free…

He watched, alone and isolated from the others, as she was lowered down and sent away with the river. He longed to throw himself after her, catch her, hold her forever until he joined her. He looked up at the dark clouds threatening rain. 'Let it fall' He thought 'Do this for her.'

Drop after drop fell and he closed his eyes and imagined her face when the rain came. The pain and anger reached his numb, disbelieving heart.

"Damn you Katara!" He yelled after her and his fire, stronger than ever, flew at the river. The others looked up at Zuko. His harsh tones startling them from their remembrance.

"Zuko, what was that?" Toph's hard, tear-drowned voice asked.

"How could she? How could she do this to me, to us? Why didn't she heal herself? She could have stopped this! Why didn't she heal herself instead? Why m-" His voice cracked and he couldn't go on. He struggled to breath through the effort of keeping his sobs at bay.

Mai and Ty-Lee went to him, Mai grasping his hand but he wrenched it from her grasp. She tried again but he refused.

"No," He said "Don't give me sympathy for causing my own misery." He said in his low, harsh tones they hadn't heard since he was chasing them. They all stood to look at him. Katara had had a lot of friends and it was clear that some were willing to fight for her still.

He gulped back his tears once again and pushed past Mai and Ty-Lee but ran into Toph. Toph held him firmly in her hands.

"Let me go Toph. I need to be away from here." Toph said nothing but she bent his feet into the earth, holding them there.

"She didn't deserve that." Toph said with a fierce protectiveness aimed at Katara. He looked into her unseeing eyes.

"No." He admitted "She didn't." Something in his voice softened her and she released his feet and let him pass. He stalked past and didn't look back.

'_I should be crying but I just can't let it show,_

_I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking,'_

"It was my fault!" He yelled punching out flame into the ground.

His few belongings strewn messily over the campsite he had built in haste. He collapsed onto the forest floor and let his cries overcome him again…

He hadn't gone back to the palace, he needed to be alone with his own thoughts of her. And there were too many people that needed guidance he couldn't give.

Zuko often went back to the river he last saw her at. He would walk along it's banks in solitude just watching the soft water swirl and dance like she used to. He remembered her talking about the push and pull of the water and only now would he see what she had meant. The water pulled him in, enticing him, tempting him, but his own conscience would push him away from the waves, denying him of his right to be with her.

But other times he would lie under his blankets for days on end. His stubborn mind refusing to look back, half convincing himself that they were all at the Western Air Temples again. He lost himself in distant memories and loves.

The pain and anger built up until the loss in his heart was too great to carry and it spilled out in a torrent of anguish. Crying wasn't enough and no amount of it could heal his sorrow.

"Please Katara!" He begged "I need you! Come back to me!"

He surrendered to the grief that he had been hiding and wishing away. The tears flowed freely day and night, his face a mask of loss and hatred. He forgot how to smile.

'_All the things I should've said that I never said_

_All the things I should've done that we never did_

_All the things I should've given but I didn't.'_

Being Firelord had taken it's toll on their relationship. On all of their relationship's. What had stopped him sending a messenger hawk to say hello, or Happy Birthday, or even to ask for her help? They had grown apart year by year and they each had their separate jobs and lives. He was ruler of the Fire Nation and she a water bending teacher and Advisor for the ruler of the Southern Water Tribe.

Zuko remembered everything changed when a new war threatened to erupt. Aang sent for the old gang, the Kyoshi warriors, Mai everyone they knew that could help. And when they got there they had fought, side by side, again. They were both hurt, badly. She chose him.

More tears came as the memories sliced through his heart. He remembered the pain, he remembered begging Katara to heal herself and the relief from his wounds that caused him more pain than the wounds themselves…

"It was my fault." He said again falling to his knees and covering his face with his hands. He sighed and fell onto his side and allowed himself to be consumed by sleep.

Hearing bushes move he snapped his eyes open and sat up, his stiff muscles groaning at the effort. He listened carefully and heard a voice. He could pick her out from a mile away. Toph had found him.

"Zuko?" Toph asked.

She placed the small folded letter by his side but he didn't glance at it. Suddenly a hand, gentler than he could have imagined was resting on his shoulder. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and glanced up at Toph.

She offered him a small smile but he didn't return it.

"Katara wouldn't have wanted this." She said to him softly, her own tears pouring from her blind eyes, "She would have wanted you back in that throne room and making sure this doesn't happen to anyone else."

She gave his shoulder a little shake and sat down beside him, leaning her head on his shoulder. He looked down at her, crying on his shoulder.

"Toph." He said, a sob threatening to overcome him once more.

"Did you think you were the only one who misses her? She was like my sister." Toph said her voice thick and heavy. "And you are like my brother,"

Zuko turned and Toph suddenly threw herself into his arms and sobbed. "I don't want to lose you too."

'_Oh darling make it go away … just make it go away now'_

He hugged her close taken-aback. He had never seen Toph cry. She was always so strong, so independent. But she needed Zuko ... And Zuko needed her. He felt his own hot tears come once more and spill down his cheeks. Toph clung to him and together they cried, filling up the holes each of them had within their hearts, holes that neither of them thought could be filled. Soaking up each other's hurt until their sadness was shared between them and neither could cry anymore. They walked for hours along the bank of Katara's River, as they called it, reminiscing and remembering.

Toph left Zuko promising she wouldn't bring anyone else and with his promise he would come back to them within the week.

Zuko glanced to the letter she had left. Opening the envelope with his name sprawled across the top in her handwriting something fell out. He looked down and picked up the object with shaking fingers. It was her mother's necklace, her necklace, now his necklace. He smiled and fingered the carving on the pendant before turning to read the letter.

'_Give me these moments back_

_Give them back to me …_

_Give me that little kiss …_

_Give me you're hand'_

_Dear Zuko,_

_I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry I left you alone to be Firelord but my duty was to my people and I hope you understand that. I'm sorry that I have left you but not that I healed you. I will never be sorry for that, never. You must understand why I did it. You mean the world to me and a world without you is unimaginable. Believe me when I say I would have given everything to put off what must come and what has come. I wanted you to know the true me, I wanted to be close to you, I needed you. All I really needed was the air I breathe, the water I bend and you. But I must plead for you not to give up your throne, do not abandon your people or your friends. They need you as much as I did. Do not despair, I'm still with you and I will be, always._

_I love you._

_Katara_

Overwhelmed he cried out to her and ran to the river. Not even caring to wonder how she had known it was to happen he fell to his knees at the bank, a wail burning his throat but he was silenced as he looked at himself. His hair was matted and fell across his shoulders completely covering his scar. Stubble prickled his dirty face and tear tracks were visible from the many he had shed. A cool breeze passed over him and refreshed him slightly. He splashed water over his face and hands, the first time he'd touched water since his healing. Two fish swam under his reflexion, reminding him of the water spirits.

"Oh Katara, I'm sorry." He whispered. Continuing in a stronger voice he spoke "I miss you so very much but I will be strong now … I love you … Goodbye."

The tears that now fell from Zuko's eyes were ones of understanding, love and determination to do what she had asked. To do what she had wanted. He had no more time to wallow in his own misery. There were people who needed him. His thoughts went to his friends, Sokka, Aang, Suki and of course Toph. He looked at the fish again and felt something spread through him like a wave. A warmth he hadn't felt in a long time. He closed his eyes and saw her, beaming . He felt her love, her hope, and her happiness come back to him. He smiled.


End file.
